OK - hello Everybody. :-)))
Thanks for reading! Unfortunately this second and ...ughemmm, cough, cough... indeed final blog addition may be completely not what you are expecting to read... and I can share in the surprise whilst writing it too! :-p :-)
So.... yesterday I had some stark realisations about some health (emotional and physical) issues that have been going on a for a good few years without me paying sufficient attention to them, believing that everything was fine and all 'under control' and that I could deal with it on my own.
These began to reach a peak even before leaving the UK, but again, I thought everything would be fine and dandy when out of the stresses of the traditional system and when in a supportive community that encourages a much 'cleaner' diet (just one of the issues I am experiencing is IBS).
However, yesterday, it became clear to me that I cannot and do not wish to so deal with the issues on my own or in a less than optimal environment where I feel most at ease.... and so I have decided to return to the UK remarkably early to enable as much focus on a thorough heal as possible.
In addition there were other factors (about my view of the community here) influencing the decision that made it not too much of a sad one...
I'mtrying not to be al judgemental about this decision and the circumstances around it.... it just is. I learnt quite a bit even in the short time here at FB and through my issues.... no dobt lots more to come still in the healing process too.... :-DD.
Oki doki, well that's all from me for now... Don't think it appropriate to go into too much detail on here... :-p :-)
Just though tI needed to update you of this rather than just remain silent with no blog...! Heh.
I hope all others are well :-)
Over and out. :-))))
Sunday, 14 August 2011
Sunday, 17 July 2011
Thus far... Take 2.
.... 'ello again :-)) I wrote most of the above after my first day here...now 3 and a bit days in I feel I like I've been here much longer and feel already quite settled (much more to come, I imagaine). I feel much happier and hopeful/excited about my endeavours/contributions here. I feel closer to at least some of the community members.... and we've already been to one beach party!! it was fantastic....topped off especially by a 2am swim and continued the dancing there with some crazy splashing game too that we embarked on.
I've now got my teeth stuck into two different clearing projects and know what I'm doing. And I'm feeling like time is not running away with me by embarking on the creative endeavours I wish to.... I was inspired this evening to write not just the kind of songs I've written thus far but to experiment with developing a few, simple, short spiritual song phrases.... I shall also use the wealth of examples on YouTube to perhaps facilitate a Yoga session.... (just meditation in swing at moment) and/or a kind of meditative dance session in addition to theatre improvisation session.... open invitation to all in the community (9 people) though I shall enact this on me tod happily too if no one joins...think they will though... as said previously... therr's been much support and encouragement for the ideas I've suggested).
I tried to come with as few expectations as possible.... from my reading and communication, I interpreted that the variety of food available would not be quite so diverse and of high quantities. From their work agreements/exchanges with various companies.... they receive tonnes of food that is perfectly fine to eat and yet would otherwise be thrown away.... so I still have the normal temptations of choc spread, biscuits, sauces, bread and whatever else.... as well a the overeating temptation ...all being highlighted further by me at present due to abdominal pain Ive been getting (IBS type thing). Anyways, all this can be seen as just further opportunities for further self-growth rather than being in the easy position of a place where certain foods/things are not able to be accessed. :-)) Of course, the lack of stress here and lack of pressure on time or 'duties' and the HEAT seems to decrease my will to eat more than a little anyway.
Change/evolution of course is never far away... one woman arrives with her son soon.... we'll see what fruits this brings :-))) it will be lovely and an honour for me to already welcome someone else into the community :-))))
Very tired so apologies if not much sense.... G' night for now and hope this find you well :-))
I've now got my teeth stuck into two different clearing projects and know what I'm doing. And I'm feeling like time is not running away with me by embarking on the creative endeavours I wish to.... I was inspired this evening to write not just the kind of songs I've written thus far but to experiment with developing a few, simple, short spiritual song phrases.... I shall also use the wealth of examples on YouTube to perhaps facilitate a Yoga session.... (just meditation in swing at moment) and/or a kind of meditative dance session in addition to theatre improvisation session.... open invitation to all in the community (9 people) though I shall enact this on me tod happily too if no one joins...think they will though... as said previously... therr's been much support and encouragement for the ideas I've suggested).
I tried to come with as few expectations as possible.... from my reading and communication, I interpreted that the variety of food available would not be quite so diverse and of high quantities. From their work agreements/exchanges with various companies.... they receive tonnes of food that is perfectly fine to eat and yet would otherwise be thrown away.... so I still have the normal temptations of choc spread, biscuits, sauces, bread and whatever else.... as well a the overeating temptation ...all being highlighted further by me at present due to abdominal pain Ive been getting (IBS type thing). Anyways, all this can be seen as just further opportunities for further self-growth rather than being in the easy position of a place where certain foods/things are not able to be accessed. :-)) Of course, the lack of stress here and lack of pressure on time or 'duties' and the HEAT seems to decrease my will to eat more than a little anyway.
Change/evolution of course is never far away... one woman arrives with her son soon.... we'll see what fruits this brings :-))) it will be lovely and an honour for me to already welcome someone else into the community :-))))
Very tired so apologies if not much sense.... G' night for now and hope this find you well :-))
Thus far...
Greetings All! :-))
Lovely to have your interest in the bits n bobs I'll be writing here.... as rare or as frequent a it turns out to be :-))
Well, firstly I think this was my hardest goodbye/moving on I've experienced to date. All others have been due to natural closes eg. end of an internship or course/end of university etc and/or have not pulled quite so strongly on my heart strings in terms of people I'd be 'leaving' and activities/experiences I'd be 'leaving'. I put 'leaving' in inverted commas as I think this is a negative/unhelpful way of looking at it. The memories and impact of the people/events/experiences will obviously stay with you and my intention is to always ensure I've comunicated wholeheartedly and sufficiently in someway shape or form the extent of your love and gratitude of your time with these people/of these experiences....so that this can touch and help them too and this bond will then live further on in all its additional strength and mutual celebration. They are of course not the reason your leaving... (well in this case on the whole anyway)... i found it helpful to highlight what needs/desires/aims of mine still remained and so as testing as it may be... feel the need to continue on further on this journey.... Thank God for the internet and our memories!....
Interesting to think this is only a recent evolution within humans though on the whole.... and probably still not the case for many today.... to move around a lot on your own creating the same need again and again to be fulfilled of needing to settle and bond and sufficient energy and will to do this.
Hmm... I could go on but for want of not making these updates anything as long and perhaps for some painful to read as my last travel mission updates.... I shall move onto next point.
I'm currently in the room I'm staying in here at FB. Tis divine in my view!! It has a cave-like ora about it......seems painted stone walls I'd guess with different levels including a little alcove where my bed is (a mattress on wooden pallets).... one of the most lovely places I've slept thus far in life.
So yep... am in 'my' room....
Feeling excitable this evening after feeling excitable or calm on the first day followed by a period of blueness.....I think topsy-turvy emotions in my experience and from what I hear are to be expected in the settling in period.... I'm trying to refrain from judging the situation in an outright fashion in this period.
Still catching up on sleep too lol.
Of course I'm experiencing the old fears substantially during the settling in period of oh my god jenny, what on earth are you doing??!! you won't do well here... along with urges of just packing the whole spiritual growth/community living thing in.... well aspects of it anyway.
.....Thus far though these are being alleviated or danger danger??? suppressed??? with more positive, creative thoughts....
I do wonder if I'm kidding myself though at times.... and ask why I sometimes insist on making things so hard for myself... (I'm aware of my answers to this).
Ideas of drama, dance and singing have been slightly encouraged and welcomed so far.... I'm really trying to take the initiative of inputting into the community and I hope a lot of fulfillment will come from this.... other more traditionally work orientated tasks I'm trying to get my teeth eagerly stuck into too.... lots of clearing and cleaning initially. All the other people are (mostly) very warm, open, friendly and helpful. There's one chap who's just been here for 4 days too... so it's nice not to be the only one in the 'newbie' situation... I've played the Strata album of course and three people that have listend really liked it so far!! :-DDDDD heheheee.
There's one small dome that is naturally designed wthin its architechture (founder is architecht) to have an astounding sound!!!! Immense!! When you speak/sing in there it sounds like you are connected to a microphone with speakers all around you!!! There's a very sacred/spiritual bigger dome room that has a similar acoustic which is marvellous for meditation, yoga, dance, singing.....and more.
There's no one person asking me or anyone else to do a certain thing at a certain time.... alluring the the founder's not wanting to be a guru/leader attitude. This is calling even further for my above approach.
There is a lot of 'mess' on the community land of these wooen pallets they're now overflowing with (long story) and other equipment they find or are given that needs repairing.... I did not come here though expecting all to be pristine so this has not bothered me as it does some others who come here by the sounds of things.
I could not by any means cover eveything in this message.... just a little snippit for you :-))
It depends on who I'm talking with as to whether I get to practice Spanish.... two chaps do not speak English very well..... so I'm getting mroe practice than I thought after finding out when being picked up from ferry port that the predominant language in the community is English... can definitely notice heaps of improvements already.....!! heheheee. Grand stuff.... just did one hour of Spanish on my own too so as to improve what I am bringing to these broken Spanish convos... great! May begin doing this with others too....
All in all, there is loooooooads and tooones of work to be done in this community as well as on self-improvement for the individuals within the community.... which can be in a frequent state of flux too.... there is heeeeeaps of potential so I need to swallow my fears, take deep breaths, jump in the deep end, not worry, proactively ensure my needs are met especially that of companionship (surprisingly I'm not sharing a room! :-o hehehee).... express my feelings and thoughts as an open being and no just hide away in my room in spare moments (part of companionship)....
So - we'll see how it goes after trying all of the above :-)))
Just one other female here at moment and that is Bo, Founder's partner who's been here for 6 years and originally form South Korea... she has a very friendly, soft, face :-)) She seems very inviting and approachable.... I think I'll be able to talk with her if/when I need to. :-))
Slowly does it....!! heheheee.
Lovely to have your interest in the bits n bobs I'll be writing here.... as rare or as frequent a it turns out to be :-))
Well, firstly I think this was my hardest goodbye/moving on I've experienced to date. All others have been due to natural closes eg. end of an internship or course/end of university etc and/or have not pulled quite so strongly on my heart strings in terms of people I'd be 'leaving' and activities/experiences I'd be 'leaving'. I put 'leaving' in inverted commas as I think this is a negative/unhelpful way of looking at it. The memories and impact of the people/events/experiences will obviously stay with you and my intention is to always ensure I've comunicated wholeheartedly and sufficiently in someway shape or form the extent of your love and gratitude of your time with these people/of these experiences....so that this can touch and help them too and this bond will then live further on in all its additional strength and mutual celebration. They are of course not the reason your leaving... (well in this case on the whole anyway)... i found it helpful to highlight what needs/desires/aims of mine still remained and so as testing as it may be... feel the need to continue on further on this journey.... Thank God for the internet and our memories!....
Interesting to think this is only a recent evolution within humans though on the whole.... and probably still not the case for many today.... to move around a lot on your own creating the same need again and again to be fulfilled of needing to settle and bond and sufficient energy and will to do this.
Hmm... I could go on but for want of not making these updates anything as long and perhaps for some painful to read as my last travel mission updates.... I shall move onto next point.
I'm currently in the room I'm staying in here at FB. Tis divine in my view!! It has a cave-like ora about it......seems painted stone walls I'd guess with different levels including a little alcove where my bed is (a mattress on wooden pallets).... one of the most lovely places I've slept thus far in life.
So yep... am in 'my' room....
Feeling excitable this evening after feeling excitable or calm on the first day followed by a period of blueness.....I think topsy-turvy emotions in my experience and from what I hear are to be expected in the settling in period.... I'm trying to refrain from judging the situation in an outright fashion in this period.
Still catching up on sleep too lol.
Of course I'm experiencing the old fears substantially during the settling in period of oh my god jenny, what on earth are you doing??!! you won't do well here... along with urges of just packing the whole spiritual growth/community living thing in.... well aspects of it anyway.
.....Thus far though these are being alleviated or danger danger??? suppressed??? with more positive, creative thoughts....
I do wonder if I'm kidding myself though at times.... and ask why I sometimes insist on making things so hard for myself... (I'm aware of my answers to this).
Ideas of drama, dance and singing have been slightly encouraged and welcomed so far.... I'm really trying to take the initiative of inputting into the community and I hope a lot of fulfillment will come from this.... other more traditionally work orientated tasks I'm trying to get my teeth eagerly stuck into too.... lots of clearing and cleaning initially. All the other people are (mostly) very warm, open, friendly and helpful. There's one chap who's just been here for 4 days too... so it's nice not to be the only one in the 'newbie' situation... I've played the Strata album of course and three people that have listend really liked it so far!! :-DDDDD heheheee.
There's one small dome that is naturally designed wthin its architechture (founder is architecht) to have an astounding sound!!!! Immense!! When you speak/sing in there it sounds like you are connected to a microphone with speakers all around you!!! There's a very sacred/spiritual bigger dome room that has a similar acoustic which is marvellous for meditation, yoga, dance, singing.....and more.
There's no one person asking me or anyone else to do a certain thing at a certain time.... alluring the the founder's not wanting to be a guru/leader attitude. This is calling even further for my above approach.
There is a lot of 'mess' on the community land of these wooen pallets they're now overflowing with (long story) and other equipment they find or are given that needs repairing.... I did not come here though expecting all to be pristine so this has not bothered me as it does some others who come here by the sounds of things.
I could not by any means cover eveything in this message.... just a little snippit for you :-))
It depends on who I'm talking with as to whether I get to practice Spanish.... two chaps do not speak English very well..... so I'm getting mroe practice than I thought after finding out when being picked up from ferry port that the predominant language in the community is English... can definitely notice heaps of improvements already.....!! heheheee. Grand stuff.... just did one hour of Spanish on my own too so as to improve what I am bringing to these broken Spanish convos... great! May begin doing this with others too....
All in all, there is loooooooads and tooones of work to be done in this community as well as on self-improvement for the individuals within the community.... which can be in a frequent state of flux too.... there is heeeeeaps of potential so I need to swallow my fears, take deep breaths, jump in the deep end, not worry, proactively ensure my needs are met especially that of companionship (surprisingly I'm not sharing a room! :-o hehehee).... express my feelings and thoughts as an open being and no just hide away in my room in spare moments (part of companionship)....
So - we'll see how it goes after trying all of the above :-)))
Just one other female here at moment and that is Bo, Founder's partner who's been here for 6 years and originally form South Korea... she has a very friendly, soft, face :-)) She seems very inviting and approachable.... I think I'll be able to talk with her if/when I need to. :-))
Slowly does it....!! heheheee.
Saturday, 2 July 2011
About this blog...
A very warm, friendly & open-hearted greeting to all of you out there! :-)
I have formulated this blog for personal reasons as well as altruistic reasons; Instead of just having email records of my experiences, I thought it would be nice to have a more official and cherished account and others may like to read about it and may find it helpful if they wish to travel/delve into similar experiences in the future.
Feel free to contact me with any questions or comments you may have. :-))
Much fulfillment to you All and with Metta.... :-))
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