Greetings All! :-))
Lovely to have your interest in the bits n bobs I'll be writing here.... as rare or as frequent a it turns out to be :-))
Well, firstly I think this was my hardest goodbye/moving on I've experienced to date. All others have been due to natural closes eg. end of an internship or course/end of university etc and/or have not pulled quite so strongly on my heart strings in terms of people I'd be 'leaving' and activities/experiences I'd be 'leaving'. I put 'leaving' in inverted commas as I think this is a negative/unhelpful way of looking at it. The memories and impact of the people/events/experiences will obviously stay with you and my intention is to always ensure I've comunicated wholeheartedly and sufficiently in someway shape or form the extent of your love and gratitude of your time with these people/of these experiences....so that this can touch and help them too and this bond will then live further on in all its additional strength and mutual celebration. They are of course not the reason your leaving... (well in this case on the whole anyway)... i found it helpful to highlight what needs/desires/aims of mine still remained and so as testing as it may be... feel the need to continue on further on this journey.... Thank God for the internet and our memories!....
Interesting to think this is only a recent evolution within humans though on the whole.... and probably still not the case for many today.... to move around a lot on your own creating the same need again and again to be fulfilled of needing to settle and bond and sufficient energy and will to do this.
Hmm... I could go on but for want of not making these updates anything as long and perhaps for some painful to read as my last travel mission updates.... I shall move onto next point.
I'm currently in the room I'm staying in here at FB. Tis divine in my view!! It has a cave-like ora about it......seems painted stone walls I'd guess with different levels including a little alcove where my bed is (a mattress on wooden pallets).... one of the most lovely places I've slept thus far in life.
So yep... am in 'my' room....
Feeling excitable this evening after feeling excitable or calm on the first day followed by a period of blueness.....I think topsy-turvy emotions in my experience and from what I hear are to be expected in the settling in period.... I'm trying to refrain from judging the situation in an outright fashion in this period.
Still catching up on sleep too lol.
Of course I'm experiencing the old fears substantially during the settling in period of oh my god jenny, what on earth are you doing??!! you won't do well here... along with urges of just packing the whole spiritual growth/community living thing in.... well aspects of it anyway.
.....Thus far though these are being alleviated or danger danger??? suppressed??? with more positive, creative thoughts....
I do wonder if I'm kidding myself though at times.... and ask why I sometimes insist on making things so hard for myself... (I'm aware of my answers to this).
Ideas of drama, dance and singing have been slightly encouraged and welcomed so far.... I'm really trying to take the initiative of inputting into the community and I hope a lot of fulfillment will come from this.... other more traditionally work orientated tasks I'm trying to get my teeth eagerly stuck into too.... lots of clearing and cleaning initially. All the other people are (mostly) very warm, open, friendly and helpful. There's one chap who's just been here for 4 days too... so it's nice not to be the only one in the 'newbie' situation... I've played the Strata album of course and three people that have listend really liked it so far!! :-DDDDD heheheee.
There's one small dome that is naturally designed wthin its architechture (founder is architecht) to have an astounding sound!!!! Immense!! When you speak/sing in there it sounds like you are connected to a microphone with speakers all around you!!! There's a very sacred/spiritual bigger dome room that has a similar acoustic which is marvellous for meditation, yoga, dance, singing.....and more.
There's no one person asking me or anyone else to do a certain thing at a certain time.... alluring the the founder's not wanting to be a guru/leader attitude. This is calling even further for my above approach.
There is a lot of 'mess' on the community land of these wooen pallets they're now overflowing with (long story) and other equipment they find or are given that needs repairing.... I did not come here though expecting all to be pristine so this has not bothered me as it does some others who come here by the sounds of things.
I could not by any means cover eveything in this message.... just a little snippit for you :-))
It depends on who I'm talking with as to whether I get to practice Spanish.... two chaps do not speak English very well..... so I'm getting mroe practice than I thought after finding out when being picked up from ferry port that the predominant language in the community is English... can definitely notice heaps of improvements already.....!! heheheee. Grand stuff.... just did one hour of Spanish on my own too so as to improve what I am bringing to these broken Spanish convos... great! May begin doing this with others too....
All in all, there is loooooooads and tooones of work to be done in this community as well as on self-improvement for the individuals within the community.... which can be in a frequent state of flux too.... there is heeeeeaps of potential so I need to swallow my fears, take deep breaths, jump in the deep end, not worry, proactively ensure my needs are met especially that of companionship (surprisingly I'm not sharing a room! :-o hehehee).... express my feelings and thoughts as an open being and no just hide away in my room in spare moments (part of companionship)....
So - we'll see how it goes after trying all of the above :-)))
Just one other female here at moment and that is Bo, Founder's partner who's been here for 6 years and originally form South Korea... she has a very friendly, soft, face :-)) She seems very inviting and approachable.... I think I'll be able to talk with her if/when I need to. :-))
Slowly does it....!! heheheee.
